A good hearted individual
being harangued
by their parents
to seek marriage,
when they desired none.
sought my guidance.
And in the annoying manner
of many Lamas
I shall address
the larger questions
inferred, but NOT asked….
from the point of view
of evolutionary
biology
as children
our survival
could have depended
upon our
unquestioning obedience
to our parents.
But just as Younglings,
become Padawans,
who become Jedi Knights
who become Jedi Masters
likewise, it is the way of nature
that children,
grow into adolescents,
who grow into adults.
And adults who persist
in blind obedience
to their parents
are NOT truly adults
BUT merely
very large children.
Developmental
psychology
shows us
that it is during
adolescence
when healthy individuals
transition
from obedient children
into independent adults.
This transition
is difficult,
fraught with danger
and could often
be quite ugly.
For evolution selects
only for survival
and reproduction
and for neither
peace
NOR happiness.
About two thousand
years ago
a Jewish tent maker wrote:
“When I was a child,
I talked like a child,
I thought like a child
I reasoned like a child…
when I became an adult,
I put childish ways
behind me.”
Likewise we must evolve
beyond blind obedience
until we are secure
in our independence.
As adults
negotiating our journeys
through life
there will be many
offering us
unsolicited advice.
Many of whom
will strive
to assure us
that they have
our happiness
at heart.
Some
could even
mean it.
But when our parents
reach a certain age
no matter how rational
they may appear
certain evolutionary pressures
drive them
like tooth paste shot out
of a as squeezed tube
thus they are driven
to coerce their offspring
to produce grandchildren.
And as such,
the words and actions they take
to persuade their children…
are less driven
by love and wisdom…
than they are driven
by impulse and cleverness:
both venal and ruthless.
People,
no matter how much
they claim to love us…
are NOT
a guaranteed source
of wisdom.
This leads us
to the pressing question
and the subject of this moment’s
consideration:
“How are we to make
decisions
that are truly wise?”
From the point of view
of Lao Tzu’s treatise
“The Book of the Beneficial Way”
or Tao Te Ching
if you prefer Chinese,
the key to a life:
meaningful and fulfilling,
is to flow from a state
of centered spontaneity
like the fictitious
Qui Gon Jinn
who trusted his intuition,
went on a side quest
and discovered
the chosen one;
and who also advised
“I counsel patience
the solution
will present itself.”
It is folly to make decisions
from a place
of impulsive scatteredness…
far better, it is,
to make decisions
from a place
of peaceful centeredness.
It is also folly
to make decisions
from a place of cold logic
as humans are far more
that merely our
prefrontal cortexes
for we have mid-brains
and brain-stems
all three of which
must be reconciled
if we are to know peace,
and fulfillment, and joy.
Rather than computing
decisions
from the logic of contrivance
it far is better to do so
from a place of
spontaneity.
No,
NOT from the scattered
spontaneity
of fools,
like that so-called
“good idea”
one gets
after their fifth
shot of Tequila…
BUT rather
from the centered
spontaneity
that is the by product
of an effective
meditation practice.
NO, Neither concentration
Nor the suppression of thought
for those will only multiply
our anxiety and aggression
BUT rather the Buddha’s meditation
that watches the play of mind
and relaxes into
mind’s NON-graspable nature.
When this is properly learned
and practiced every morning
and every evening
we, like Qui Gon Jinn,
could intuit
how to side step
the manipulative tendencies
of those
who think they love us
all the while
understanding the folly
of appealing to the reason
of those driven
by primal impulses
beyond their comprehension
and instead,
we could flow
from the wisdom that rejects
the folly of the extrinsic motivations
that seek external reward and approval
and flow from the wisdom
that also rejects
the selfishness of the intrinsic motivation
that longs for the opiates
of our internal reward centers
and the self-satisfaction it feeds
BUT instead we could embody
the wisdom that flows
from a place of A-trinsic motivation
where there is NEITHER
intention
NOR agenda
BUT rather
the limitless peace
of the centered spontaneity
that has been so mastered
that one practices it
spontaneously, and habitually,
and easily, and effectively.
This is why we practice
the Buddha’s contemplation
and compassion
that we
like Qui Gon Jinn
might meditate
like a Jedi.
Let us conclude
with a simple
call to action
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